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Misfortune Cookies

Misfortune Cookies are great fun and have become very popular among skeptics. Many cookie manufacturers and local Chinese restaurants are able to create fortune cookies for you but you also have the option of making them yourself. A pre-superstition bash meeting to gather volunteers together and make misfortune cookies might make for a very enjoyable event in itself.

You may choose to distribute the cookies to Superstition Bash participants throughout the event, and also make them available for sale in bulk quantities. Bags of misfortune cookies could also be included as one of many prizes in other bash activities. Of course, misfortune cookies can be used in a variety of other skeptical events, as well as for general fundraising purposes. You could even create fact cookies and other interesting kinds by using the same concept behind the fortune cookie.

Here's a recipe for Misfortune Cookies:

This recipe makes approximately 18 cookies. You will need to multiply ingredients depending on the number of cookies you want to make. For your misfortune messages, use 3 x 1/2 inch (8 x 1 cm) pieces of paper.

Ingredients:
3 tbsp (50mL) softened butter
3 tbsp (50mL) granulated sugar
1 egg white
1/2 tsp (2mL) vanilla
1/3 cup (75mL) all-purpose flour

In small bowl, mix together butter, sugar, egg white and vanilla; stir in flour until well blended. Drop rounded teaspoonfuls (5mL) at a time onto greased baking sheet; spread into 3-inch (8cm) circle using back of spoon. Bake, one sheet at a time, in 400 degrees Fahrenheit (200 degrees Celsius) oven for 3 to 4 minutes or until edges are lightly browned.

Place baking sheet on rack. Loosen cookies with spatula and turn over; place folded misfortune in center. Quickly and gently fold cookie in half; press edges together for several seconds. Grasp ends of cookie, place center over rim of glass and gently press ends down to bend cookie in middle. Place each cookie in muffin cup to retain shape until cooled. Repeat with remaining cookies. (If cookies become to brittle to fold, return to oven briefly to soften.)

Here are suggestions for misfortunes to include in your cookies. Feel free to send in your own clever one-liners and we will include them in the list:

You will suffer a pang of doubt

You will pay an arm and a leg

For good luck, do not read this

Your mother will dress you funny

Your shoelace will come undone

A bird will poop on your car

You will find a foreign hair in your food

The opposite sex will snub you

This fortune was hacked by the Fortune Cookie Liberation Front

You will be the subject of gossip

A friend will forget your birthday

For good luck, do not break the cookie

You will receive a paper cut

An hour of your time will be wasted

You will receive junk mail

You will misplace your keys

LOOK BEHIND YOU!

You will get the surly clerk

You will lose something really important

Food will go missing from your cupboard

Your coffee will taste awful

Your pet is destroying something valuable

That wasn't chicken

You will run out of toilet paper at an inopportune time

Someone will annoy you

It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you

You are less important than you think

Tele-marketers will phone you

You will need to reprogram the clock on your VCR

Do not _____ under any circumstances

Your favorite show will be interrupted

You will find mold growing on your bread

The milk will be sour

Uri Geller will bend all of your spoons

Road rage will increase tenfold

You will be called into a meeting

You will get the Q, but not the U, in Scrabble

You will not get the joke

There is no such thing as the divination of the future. Make your own future!

People will stare

Your body odor will be especially offensive

One of your cells will die

The planets are aligned and all pointed at you

A baby will cry for hours

The plane will be delayed

A car alarm will wake you from a restful sleep

It will rain on your parade

The cloud will be without a silver lining

Your life will inspire a Country & Western song

There will be no pot-o-gold at the end of the rainbow

A loved one will become rabid

You will say something stupid

An allergic reaction will develop

Inflation & Taxes

The toilet will clog and overflow

Yes, God does hate you

Your partner will have a headache

Help, I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory in Hoboken, NJ!

A Buffalo sports team will choke

Puzzle pieces will disappear

The neighbor's pet will relieve himself in your garden

The movie will suck

A book will fall from a high shelf

Money will be wasted

You will ask a stupid question and get a stupid answer

Your vehicle will need repairs

A Jehovah's Witness will visit

You will be without fashion sense

People will laugh at you, not with you

The item you bought today will be half-price tomorrow

An insect will bite you

There will be no parking spaces available

Your computer will make you angry

An emergency broadcast will interrupt your favorite show

You will wait in line

Your emotions will outsmart your reason

Bills will be high

You will develop a hangnail

Belly button lint will cause you grief

The previews will go on forever

Someone will smite you

You will be cutoff in traffic

You will forget to set the alarm clock

A bad song will get stuck in your head

A collection agency will find you

The weather will oppress you

Luggage will be lost

They will get your order wrong

Bruises will appear

Weight will be gained

A bumper sticker will offend you

A T-shirt will be stained forevermore

Your mood will swing

You will get lost in the shuffle

A word will remain on the tip of your tongue

An opportunity will be missed

You will be mistaken for a crazed lunatic

Paranoia will creep up on you

The wool will be pulled over your eyes

A dog will bark at you

A large head will obstruct your view

A Rock - YOU - A Hard Place

Your intelligence will be questioned