Misfortune Cookies
Misfortune Cookies are great fun and have become very popular among skeptics. Many cookie manufacturers and local Chinese restaurants are able to create fortune cookies for you but you also have the option of making them yourself. A pre-superstition bash meeting to gather volunteers together and make misfortune cookies might make for a very enjoyable event in itself.
You may choose to distribute the cookies to Superstition Bash participants throughout the event, and also make them available for sale in bulk quantities. Bags of misfortune cookies could also be included as one of many prizes in other bash activities. Of course, misfortune cookies can be used in a variety of other skeptical events, as well as for general fundraising purposes. You could even create fact cookies and other interesting kinds by using the same concept behind the fortune cookie.
Here's a recipe for Misfortune Cookies:
This recipe makes approximately 18 cookies. You will need to multiply ingredients depending on the number of cookies you want to make. For your misfortune messages, use 3 x 1/2 inch (8 x 1 cm) pieces of paper.
Ingredients:
- 3 tbsp (50mL) softened butter
- 3 tbsp (50mL) granulated sugar
- 1 egg white
- 1/2 tsp (2mL) vanilla
- 1/3 cup (75mL) all-purpose flour
In small bowl, mix together butter, sugar, egg white and vanilla; stir in flour until well blended. Drop rounded teaspoonfuls (5mL) at a time onto greased baking sheet; spread into 3-inch (8cm) circle using back of spoon. Bake, one sheet at a time, in 400 degrees Fahrenheit (200 degrees Celsius) oven for 3 to 4 minutes or until edges are lightly browned.
Place baking sheet on rack. Loosen cookies with spatula and turn over; place folded misfortune in center. Quickly and gently fold cookie in half; press edges together for several seconds. Grasp ends of cookie, place center over rim of glass and gently press ends down to bend cookie in middle. Place each cookie in muffin cup to retain shape until cooled. Repeat with remaining cookies. (If cookies become to brittle to fold, return to oven briefly to soften.)
Here are suggestions for misfortunes to include in your cookies. Feel free to send in your own clever one-liners and we will include them in the list:
- You will suffer a pang of doubt
- You will pay an arm and a leg
- For good luck, do not read this
- Your mother will dress you funny
- Your shoelace will come undone
- A bird will poop on your car
- You will find a foreign hair in your food
- The opposite sex will snub you
- This fortune was hacked by the Fortune Cookie Liberation Front
- You will be the subject of gossip
- A friend will forget your birthday
- For good luck, do not break the cookie
- You will receive a paper cut
- An hour of your time will be wasted
- You will receive junk mail
- You will misplace your keys
- LOOK BEHIND YOU!
- You will get the surly clerk
- You will lose something really important
- Food will go missing from your cupboard
- Your coffee will taste awful
- Your pet is destroying something valuable
- That wasn't chicken
- You will run out of toilet paper at an inopportune time
- Someone will annoy you
- It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you
- You are less important than you think
- Tele-marketers will phone you
- You will need to reprogram the clock on your VCR
- Do not _____ under any circumstances
- Your favorite show will be interrupted
- You will find mold growing on your bread
- The milk will be sour
- Uri Geller will bend all of your spoons
- Road rage will increase tenfold
- You will be called into a meeting
- You will get the Q, but not the U, in Scrabble
- You will not get the joke
- There is no such thing as the divination of the future. Make your own future!
- People will stare
- Your body odor will be especially offensive
- One of your cells will die
- The planets are aligned and all pointed at you
- A baby will cry for hours
- The plane will be delayed
- A car alarm will wake you from a restful sleep
- It will rain on your parade
- The cloud will be without a silver lining
- Your life will inspire a Country & Western song
- There will be no pot-o-gold at the end of the rainbow
- A loved one will become rabid
- You will say something stupid
- An allergic reaction will develop
- Inflation & Taxes
- The toilet will clog and overflow
- Yes, God does hate you
- Your partner will have a headache
- Help, I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory in Hoboken, NJ!
- A Buffalo sports team will choke
- Puzzle pieces will disappear
- The neighbor's pet will relieve himself in your garden
- The movie will suck
- A book will fall from a high shelf
- Money will be wasted
- You will ask a stupid question and get a stupid answer
- Your vehicle will need repairs
- A Jehovah's Witness will visit
- You will be without fashion sense
- People will laugh at you, not with you
- The item you bought today will be half-price tomorrow
- An insect will bite you
- There will be no parking spaces available
- Your computer will make you angry
- An emergency broadcast will interrupt your favorite show
- You will wait in line
- Your emotions will outsmart your reason
- Bills will be high
- You will develop a hangnail
- Belly button lint will cause you grief
- The previews will go on forever
- Someone will smite you
- You will be cutoff in traffic
- You will forget to set the alarm clock
- A bad song will get stuck in your head
- A collection agency will find you
- The weather will oppress you
- Luggage will be lost
- They will get your order wrong
- Bruises will appear
- Weight will be gained
- A bumper sticker will offend you
- A T-shirt will be stained forevermore
- Your mood will swing
- You will get lost in the shuffle
- A word will remain on the tip of your tongue
- An opportunity will be missed
- You will be mistaken for a crazed lunatic
- Paranoia will creep up on you
- The wool will be pulled over your eyes
- A dog will bark at you
- A large head will obstruct your view
- A Rock - YOU - A Hard Place
- Your intelligence will be questioned
